MEGAMean

What a month, school keeps things hopping!  The bad news is I haven’t even had time to reflect on life for a brilliant blog…but the good news is I haven’t had time to reflect on the weird smell coming from my trash can so all is good.  This month I got in lots of girl time with a variety of friends from different walks of life.  At one outing I joined a group of women, where I happened to have a conversation with a teenager, a teenage girl to be exact and the daughter of one of my friends.  Let me tell you I was never really good at  talking to teenagers when I WAS a teenager and things haven’t really improved…our conversation pretty much went…-How is school? Fine -Looking forward to college? Yes  -Met any cool friends this year? No  -I bet you can’t wait for the weekend? yes

Later her mom gave me the DL (down low) that she was having a lot of trouble with what is known as Mean Girls.  Mean Girls- Girls who team up and single out another girl maybe because her hair is different, her clothing is different, or gasp! she is doing something BETTER than another girl.  We all smiled and reflected on how thankful we ALL were that we were not in highschool and that we were finally away from the Mean Girls, insecurities, dirty looks, and all those moments when you were dragged into every painstaking minute of drama!  So of course, women of class, we moved things along to a more mature topic..can you believe so and so what she wore to church? I mean we weren’t at a flash dance party!?! And how does so and so afford their house? I mean I’m over here counting dimes for discount Pizza! And I heard so and so was seen at a party alone? And she was doing the YMCA with her husband nowhere around (ps. some of these events were exaggerated for the sake of blogging!) 

In our conversation about other people it dawned on me (give me a break I’m slow)…the MEAN girls never really go away!  Are we all really teenage girls stuck in grown up (and less than toned) bodies??  Do we have to always look over our shoulder at work for fear someone will start a rumor because you gasp! did something good and people noticed and someone is jealous?  Do we have to justify someone who is a size 6 by saying she is on crack cocaine? (maybe that’s just me)  Of course you may wonder if I did the MEGA courageous thing and stand up to all my friends and yell out in passion ‘STOP! This Insanity!  I will not be a Mean Girl any longer!!!!’…..ummmmm. no.  I stuffed a cheese ball in my mouth and talked with the best of them….

But don’t think it left me, oh no, God used every opportunity to show me that women are hard working creatures, mothers, wives, sisters, friends, emotional and loving people, and we all have a common thread…even that crazy lady you work with who seems to shoot the death ray stare when you walk by (she too probably has something in common).  Don’t get me wrong, the male race is great and all, I have a son, but nobody understands the female journey..like well…a female….so I’m trying really, really hard this week to stop being a Mean Girl Teenager and start being more like a Supportive Girl Lady!  Wish me luck, Mega Girl needs it!

MEGA MADE

I know I haven’t blogged and I am certain my two whole followers have probably been sick, just sick wanting to know what has been going on in my life. Now that I am back to juggling work, Awanas at church, and C. is back in preschool…my blog may happen less.  You all know MEGA girl is NOT an overachiever. I did get lucky this Labor Day weekend. I got to spend some time alone, and I know you want to know what I did with the time! Catch up on school? dusting? laundry? bible study? NO Way. I caught up on my DVR time, yes I played before work. I did it, sue me. I wish I could lie to you and say that I tape CSPAN, History Channel, or even moving documentaries. Keeping it MEGAreal… I confess I love The Kardashians, The Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives, and one of my classic favorites is the MTV show MADE. ‘The series follows teens that have a goal and want to be "made" into things like singers, athletes, dancers, skateboarders, etc. The teens are joined by a "Made Coach", an expert in their chosen field, who tries to help them attain their goals over the course of several weeks’ (wikiepedia.org).
Where was this show when I was in high school? I would have loved to be MADE into homecoming queen, cheerleader, lead in a band, spelling bee champ, class slut (ok I’m kidding on the last one)…. I would be MADE into anything that wasn’t a short, flute playing, nerd. It got me thinking what would I be MADE into today? I would be MegaMade into a super mom that would never forget, never over eat, never raise my voice, never miss a step, make all my friends adore me with my talents, and have a cute haircut like Ashley Judd……but that seems kind of MEGA impossible, right? Then I really got into deep thought during commercials (I forget I can fast forward, sue me again) and wondered why any would want to be MADE into something they are not, what if we all got MADE into someone who is…self confident, happy with what God made them, proud of who they are regardless of differences? Crazy thought isn’t it.


Tonight at church I watched my son. He wanted to dress himself and so I let him. He put on navy shorts, a black, long sleeved Halloween shirt (too small) with skull and crossbones, WWE wrestling sneakers, and a pair of orange mittens. (When I was growing up if you weren’t matching and clean you were the same as a street hooker, so I try not to stress over the small details). As we began to sing to Chris Tomlin’s Sing, Sing, Sing I look over and my C. begins to break dance like his life depends on it!!! I attend a fairly conservative church, and while most children and adults were singing to the music while standing in a perfect line...my weirdo son was break dancing like he was making dollar bills. Oh yes, in his orange gloves he was doing the floor circle, power step, running man, the hip twist, you name it. Of course everyone was laughing at him, except me...I was wondering WTC (What the Crap, not WTF because I try not to think that especially in church). He looked ridiculous, but he was having a blast! More importantly I think he was praising God as God intended… without society rules and regulations.

After watching, I decided I want to be Mega MADE into my son- my crazy, wild, loud, says what he thinks- son…because he is happy and carefree and he makes his own rules about life. I know it won’t be long before he starts school and he learns things such as cool crowd, bad crowd, rich crowd, poor crowd and I’m afraid he will know the weird crowd. It breaks my heart to think he may one day want to be MADE into something else (though that may be better than watching him get drunk and naked on the Real World). So I leave you with my MEGA words of wisdom…everyone please march to the beat of your own break-dance!

With Love,

Mega Girl

My MEGAschedule MEGAstinks

C.-Man

I set my alarm for Friday night, 6:00am with a list beside my alarm clock, I had a MEGA DAY planned…1. Fix healthy breakfast; lay out healthy lunch, bible study 2. Walk 30 minutes 3. Fill in list for upcoming students, create mock schedule, and outline reeval/testing dates 4. Play outside with C. 5. Pick up steaks to grill out with family 6. Finish laundry and lay out outfits for the week 6. End the day with a glass of wine, blog, and catch up on Degrassi: The Boiling Point (yes, I watch that show sue me I’m addicted!)


When the alarm clock buzzed in my ear, I switched if off with great gusto…I was dreaming about Vin Diesel and I just feel that is more important on a Saturday morning. Of course two hours later the piercing sounds of C’s harmonica blaring in my ear killed the sexiness of my dream right away. By the time we all got up, my husband reminded me that he would not be home until late tonight because after work he was going to the Panthers game (thanks for the heads up, such a M-A-N). Those were the first two hitches in the schedule. It was me and C. the rest of the day… and night! At 9:00am I made the executive decision to just fill up some bowls of sugary cereal, I mean if your already bouncing off the walls...why not make it that more interesting!? I chose to put in some Facebook time and I threw in as many clothing into the washer as humanly possible (you know you do it...so full the machine starts knocking). Then I got the call that screwed my schedule even more, there was a pizza party going on at the In-laws, and didn’t your hubby tell you all about it?? Nooooo….so off I dash to push my sweaty hair in a pony tail, put something on C. that isn’t stained, and we join the party…pizza and cookies for lunch!!

After the party, I head to Wal-Mart…maybe I can salvage my day and get that healthy dinner and wine, and get some school work done. I move through the store and C. begs for a miniature skateboard for $2.97...I ponder…YES its worth it to entertain him at home. That is when I meet up with church members who reminded me that our End of Summer blowout party was tonight at the local pool! (great..noooooo I did not remember, I wonder how bad it would look if I cuss right now, I’m guessing not good so I hold it in). I get to hear C. beg to go, and who am I do deny him some good Christian socializing at a pool because of my schedule? I complete my trip; I realize I’ve put so much crap in the buggy..I can’t afford my wine (the Checkbook Nazi that is my husband has been on the case) and I don’t need to get my healthy dinner, because guess what the main course is at the church party tonight..pizza and cupcakes for dinner!

To make my day complete, my son and I swim in the rain in the water at the pool. He had a great time but I was convinced we would die of pneumonia and we ended the night early cuddled in towels that smell of mold, even C. said “Mom we stink bad”. Have you figured out yet, I am NOT mother of the year.

It was the final straw, and I REALLY hate to admit this, but I got lost going home from the pool. Those of you who know me say ‘not surprised’ those of you who don’t say ‘are you nuts’. I can get lost from my house to the mailbox people (and it was dark…and I was distracted)! Lucky for me you can keep driving from the pool and end up somewhere familiar. I took a 47 minute detour. That’s when I started to get ticked. I was fuming. Well that went well!!!! WHY! WHY! WHY! can’t anything work as planned, now I’m behind and stressed , and you know life really stinks at times, and I’m never going to get my act together, and this was a wasted day…then I heard a little voice in the back of the car “Mom why did that skateboarder skate on the ramp naked?”



“Do what?? What in the blazes are you talking about?”

“You know on TV, the skateboarder was naked on Robby Big, and that is gross...why do boys skateboard naked?”

(I know what you’re thinking, you let C. watch MTV? Yes, we watched two episodes of Rob and Big, the Einstein videos for kids bored the guy and me too, and I guess I missed some parts)!

I then proceeded to explain that boys try to make people laugh, and that getting naked is NEVER a good idea. The point being for the next 47 minutes C. and I talked about Rob and Big, the pool party, his cousins, and why he wants to be a mascot that drives monster trucks (with FULL clothing) one day. I have to say it was one of the best conversations! C. will be 5 years old in about three weeks, the time is flying by and I can only imagine how many questions he has had that I haven’t had time to answer. The MEGAstress I have isn’t going away, but I know God made that detour for us for a reason…and I have to trust that that MEGAgirl will get that MEGAlist done some other time and will just appreciate this day for what if offered!

Mega-Meditation

I don’t intend to blog daily, but the first day of school is tomorrow! Yes sirrrrreee, time for me to Megamode and remove myself from the couch and McDonald’s bag. Since I was a child, even when I thought I was a stupid kid, I got a little excited about school. The start of school for me has always been like most people’s New Years Eve. It was a time to start fresh. Everything is the most organized before you get to school. I really loved the back to school commercials. Remember the JC Penny and Trapper Keeper commercials? The girl with the long, flowing, blond hair looked so cool, and the captain of whatever sports team would flirt or try to steal the Trapper Keeper? I loved those commercials because I knew that this would be the year that I would magically turn into the cool, skinny, blond, funny, pulled together girl of the school with the brand name Trapper Keeper, not the dollar store knock off that I usually had to get (although once I was allowed to purchase a George Michael folder and was in heaven). Of course my back to school always started with good intentions but ended up with me 1. in trouble 2. humiliated 3. With Jell-O on my shirt (don’t ask me to explain that one).


My first New Year school goal was to decrease stress and begin exercise this morning. I turned to Exercise TV on Demand to find the perfect workout…one in which I could burn lots and lots of calories but without really moving or sweating much. I spent so much time looking at all the workouts that I actually didn’t get around to exercising but I did run across a whole series on Meditation. Many of my friends at work have suggested that I Meditate (just because I break #2 pencils and sing Vanilla Ice at random, they worry). Soooo I decided I would Meditate this morning. This is how it went:

The Stress Free Breathing began by showing a motion that would instantly relax you by closing one nostril and then the other over and over. I tried it and I almost passed out due to a lack of oxygen…soooo on to the next video Meditation for Weight Loss. The instructor then begin to explain how you should observe your food, feel the food without touching, then enjoy small tastes without sound or distraction. DO WHAT!?! You can actually taste and observe food? I thought the best part of food was the thought of the next bite while you shovel the first. And hellloooo? Do you work in an elementary school or eat with males? It’s like an Olympic event to eat and go to the bathroom in under 15 minutes! Onto the next video- Water Meditation… which requires one to relax and deep breathe to water pictures. ‘Just clear your mind and breathe in and out deeply’ (me: relaxing, breathing got it). ‘Breath in and out..Feel your mind empty’ (me: what time is it anyway? 7:00?? Holy Crap, I’ve got to get C. up?)…’feel the water wash over you’ (me: I think I have to pee)…’breath and feel your body relax’ (me: did I remember to put his daycare bag in my car? Oh man…I have to empty my mind)….’just let go and feel yourself energize for your day ahead’... (Me: empty my mind…empty my mind…what time is it? 7:01!)

Needless to say the meditation didn’t work, but I’m not going to be too hard on myself and I will try again another time. Even with past experiences, I still have hope when school starts…hope that I can help one child (or all of them) have a better year than he or she could imagine.

Mega Mode will Save the Day!

Ok..I’ll just air my dirty laundry out right away. Confession number #1, I use to love comic books. I know this is quite hard to believe with my debonair and classy ways, but it’s very true. (I will try to keep my confessions to a one blog minimum). I’ve been cleaning this summer and ran across a few types of comics I salvaged..Spiderman, Wonder Woman, Superman, Archie and Betty..but my all time favorite was The X-Men! Don’t be fooled by the name, those suckers couldn’t get to the grocery store without the women of X-Men. I loved Storm, Phoenix, Polaris…ok I have to stop my Geek is coming out too fast. I love how in comic books, no matter how bad things seemed to get, I mean the “world is coming to an end man!” out comes our heroes and heroines with a POW, KAPOW, CLANG, BOOM, and they save the day…every time, it’s great!


As the summer ends, my friend and I had an eventful trip to the big city to listen to a speaker/author by the name of Jonathan Mooney. Jonathan was a former “lazy”, “bad”, “rad”, “exceptional needs”, “learning disabled” “weirdo”, kid, and we could not WAIT to hear what he had to say! As we took our seats in the very back row, I myself was having trouble keeping the anxiety down. I couldn’t get off my own worries such as my future students (my biggest) and most diverse class yet, and the adults who don’t understand those who are bad and those who are different. I was even having trouble motivating myself to get things done around my own home, and then there was the biggest issue of all “THE Case that is C.”- C. is my own four year old son who was driving me to the brink of insanity (and you think I’m joking). Mind you, I love my son and he is a great kid! Still he is like a walking Dr. Pepper bottle who just swallowed a case of Mentos…he’s moving uncontrollable at all times and I am just waiting for the BIG Explosion, and the BIG BLAME…otherwise known as mom guilt, because I suck right!?. I just wish I could turn into MEGAmomMODE, MEGAwomanMODE, MEGAicanreisitchocolateMODE (at this time I would take anything)…and turn into those comic book stars that knock out the problems like WHAM!BAM!WOWZA!

Before I could dwell on it too much, Jonathan Mooney begin to speak and I was hanging onto his every word…because what he was saying was simple and inspiring and great!!! But, easy to forget in the daily grind that is education and life! I was reminded great minds don’t think alike, intelligence is relative, break the rules, cultivate intelligence not conformity, and most important life is not one size fits all! Today I was reminded that every good heroine has her own story. …my MEGAMODE, looks totally different than any other mom, teacher, or child…and that as long as I’m working, loving, and trying the best I can, that is enough to Save the Day! Until next blog...KPLOWY!